You're definitely not having enough fun

A two step plan to have fun every day (that just might SAVE HUMANITY)

Apr 21, 2026

Listen, my crystal ball is in the shop, but I still can say with near certainty: You aren’t having enough fun.

I know, I know. There are a zillion reasons why now isn’t the right time, why you’re too busy, why it feels wrong at this moment in time and to all of them I say: HOGWASH.

Hogwash, I say!

Let’s say you’re going to give a speech tonight that will SAVE THE FATE OF THE WORLD. If it goes wrong, humanity becomes aliens’ dog toy for the next millennia. But if it goes right? Freedom and waffle cone sundaes with sprinkles for everybody.

Now, who do you want as your hype person?

Debbie, who last had fun in 1992 when she called Parking Enforcement on your lovely neighbor Ron’s RV that he’d left overnight in the street after ASKING HER PERMISSION or Brandee, who is still riding high from last night’s Mah Jong session with her besties?

Duh. Of course, you want someone in your corner who’s filled up, who has joyful overflow to share, who’s going to make your day (and life) better just by showing up.

Self appointed meter maids? Nobody has time for that.

With life feeling as heavy as it does right now, we want to be surrounded by more people who are operating from a space of joy (and to be that for others). If we want to do big things that shift the world, we need people in our corner who are going to lift us up and help us be our best selves.

Want to know the quickest way there? You guessed it. FUN!

🎉 Fun reminds us who we are at our core.

🎉 Fun keeps us light so we don’t have to get bogged down in other people’s stuff.

🎉 Fun makes it easier to tap into optimism and hope.

🎉 Fun connects us.

🎉 Fun keeps our best self close to the surface.

🎉 Fun can change the tenor of a room (or world if I have my Underoos on and am feeling super optimistic).

What I’ve found though is a lot of people don’t even know (or remember) what fun actually is.

Awhile back I was teaching a class on how to make sure joy shows up in your life on the regular and someone asked, “Can you explain what fun is?”

I mumbled something about snorting like a pig, like you do, because it caught me totally off guard.

And, it’s a great question! We’re all stumbling around, looking for “more fun” and then berating ourselves when we crash out again in front of “The Office” with half a bag of cheese curds and an Instagram addiction.

But, what if we actually had an excellent sense of what WE think is fun?

Let’s get into the nitty gritty.

For something to be truly fun, two things need to happen.

You feel joy while you’re doing it.
You feel more filled up when it’s over than when you started.

Let me give you a couple of examples to show you what I mean.

🍭 Scenario One: Candyland

You decide that you want to start having more fun with your 5 year old so you spend the longest half hour of your life, playing “Candyland.” She’s loving it - talking non-stop, giving Lord Licorice a creepy voice - while you’re secretly fantasizing about the quiet of your upcoming colonoscopy.

Now, is this scenario a waste of time? Of course not! Spending time with your kids, getting involved in their passions, is a fantastic way to build rapport and share their lives.

It is important, meaningful, and excellent parenting, but it’s okay that it’s NOT FUN.

Joy while doing it 👎
More filled up at end 👎

QUICK HIT

There’s a difference between activities that enhance our lives and ones that we find fun and joyful. If you know the diff, you can release the pressure to make everything fun.

👗 Scenario Two: Taking your partner to see an exhibit

You’ve been dying to see the DIVA fashion exhibit and invite your partner so he can share the experience and get insight into your passion. Does it matter that he knows nothing about fashion and gets bored in museums? Heck no!

The exhibit is phenomenal and you leave feeling inspired and ready to clean the crap out of your closet, but the experience was meh. You felt like you had to rush through because your husband seemed bored and you didn’t get to read every last sign like you like.

Does this mean you both need to have the exact same interests in order to hang? Of course not!

Maybe you need to set better expectations (”I want to read every single word and contemplate each creation - are you cool with that?”) or do this puppy on your own (I would often take the kids through an exhibit quickly and then if I really wanted to slow down, go back without them).

Joy while doing it 👎
More filled up at end 🎉

QUICK HIT

It’s okay to set yourself up for fun. You’re allowed to pick people who will enhance the experience and then set expectations so you can sink in and enjoy, without worrying about everyone else.

🥂 Scenario Three: Going out drinking with friends

Okay, this one is a little personal. In the old days, I’d love a boozy evening out with my gal pals where we stayed up past our 9:30pm bedtimes and injured our cores laughing. While I was in it, it was the best time ever.

It was the at-home part that wrecked it for me. I’d spend the next couple hours tortured with everything I (maybe) said, how loud I talked, and whether or not I actually showed everyone how well my Spanx was working.

Now, does this mean I didn’t have fun? Of course not!

Does it mean I felt filled up afterwards and more ready to tackle life? Um, no. Trying to decide what my shame text should say is time-consuming and life draining.

Joy while doing it 🎉
More filled up at end 👎

QUICK HIT

If you notice you aren’t more filled up at the end, it might mean you need to modify the WAY you’re having fun. If it’s a party night with people I don’t know well, I’ll stick to a drink or two so I’m present and can enjoy the moment as my best self. I still get the hit of going a little nutty with friends, but can sleep, knowing my underwear was kept under wraps.

So, why spend all this time dissecting this? Because most of you all are having HALF FUN. You’re scrolling Instagran half-heartedly or looking to what other people find fun to fill you up.

And because these activities only tick one of the boxes, you’re left feeling unsatisfied and grumpy, thinking, “Even FUN isn’t fun anymore!”

Instead, I want you to really take a second and pause. Give yourself the space to think and ask: What do I have a blast doing that leaves me feeling like a champ at the end?

I can think of quite a few things for myself:

Reading, always: I can’t get enough while doing it and feel fantastic when it’s done.
Morning work outs with my friend, Joyzelle: I never want to go, but as soon as I get there, we’re in it together - chatting and laughing, plus I feel pumped up for hours after.
Going to the movies: I forgot until this minute, but I love everything about the movie experience - the trailers, the popcorn, the emotions. Even if it’s a sucky movie, I rarely regret going.
Walking with my besties: There’s nothing like a walk and talk to solve all our problems and remind me I’m not alone.
Watching Gilmore Girls with my daughter: I love the show, I love our banter during, I love that we’ll talk about episodes for days afterwards.
Trying on clothes in my closet: There’s nothing like a good styling sesh and then I get to feel great wearing my creations for days after.

You notice that nothing on the list is a heavy lift.

Sure, I love weddings, travel, Broadway plays, Christmas morning, HALLOWEEN (omg, HALLOWEEN!!!!!), people throwing me surprise parties, but, I need fun that sustains my everyday.

I need my fun to be ridiculously easy and to not cost a lot of time or energy so it can happen on the regular. I don’t want to have to wait until it’s time to get my skeletons out of the literal closet to get a bounce in my step, you know?

Yours might be meditation, playing with the dog, birdwatching, baking cookies, salsa dancing, playing Pickleball, canning pickles, pickling eggs, the options are endless, but it’s time to have some regular fun, okay?!?!?!

Tell me one thing in the comments that you think is TRULY FUN? And then how can you make it happen THIS WEEK?

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