The #1 rule for reconnecting with old friends? Make the first move, baby
And, I know, PHONES ARE SCARY so I have another idea
Remember during Covid how we were all super-bored so we talked to all those friends we hadn’t connected with in years? We’d have cousin chats, college friend hang outs, big family reunions.
At the time, I swore up and down I’d stay connected to my out-of-state and -country friends, but then life started up again and now I’m lucky if I manage to like a cute graduation photo from one of my besties.
There’s actually a theory in social psychology called the “proximity principle”, which says that you’re more likely to be friends with people you see on a regular basis. It makes sense - you’re having more shared experiences, it’s easier and takes less effort, you see them on a regular basis.
But, I still miss my faraway friends!
I miss my friends from when the kids were little and the bonding that can only come from commiserating about being crying zombies who haven’t slept in months. I miss my San Francisco friends who watched me step into the Kara that’d been waiting. I miss my Up With People friends, who think it’s normal to break into song while waiting for your table.
AND, YES, THEY’RE STILL THERE. 😂
Good lord, I’m acting like they’ve all moved on to the Big House in the Sky when all I have to do is pick up the phone and let them know I’m thinking about them.
Because these kind of friends, as soon as you start talking, you’re right back in it. It’s like no time has passed and you’re continuing the convo you started years ago. What a beautiful, glorious thing!
Maybe it’s time to find the time to have a chat and laugh with your out-of town bestie? 🎉
Voice text or call a friend that you keep thinking about and miss.
Don’t make this hard! Tell us below who you are going to call / text and when and let’s reconnect!
👉 PHONES ARE SCARY! (Kidding, but also not because phones are TERRIFYING.)
I know some of us (me) are scared of the phone and will do anything to not have to dial. Also, it can be startling when it rings on the other end so you might want to send a warning text to your friend that their phone is going to make a strange sound and you are on the other end.
If this is all too much, send a voice text.
Open your messages and record an “audio” and tell them what’s going on and give them some questions to answer. I do this with some of my friends a couple of times a week and it’s a great way to stay connected.
👉 BUT, IT’S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE WE TALKED!
It can feel weird to reach out to someone you haven’t talked to in a long time (or, in my case, ghosted because you got sick).
However, THIS IS YOUR FRIEND. They love you and are also busy. Get rid of the guilt and dial that phone!
I have a spicy little number in California that I think about on a near weekly basis - nobody makes me laugh harder than Elisa - and I’m committing to calling her to catch up.
And, I’ll let you know when I’ve done it over in the chat! Join me there and let me know when you’ve done your action?
👉 GIVE THEM A CALL:
Think about when you’re going to do it!
I’ve found that if I tie it to an actual event - driving in my car, walking the dog, cleaning out the fridge - I’m more likely to actually do it.
So, pick a date, let them know that their phone might be doing this weird thing and give them a call!
👉 SEND A VOICE TEXT:
Or pick up your phone RIGHT NOW and send a two minute voice text checking in and letting them know what you’re most looking forward to this summer.
Comment below with the name of the person you’re calling and let’s get some good friend vibes going!
Here’s to friends, far and near!
xx. Kara
