Oof, I'm 50 today! 🎉😳🥳
Plus, all my fave sleep recs, which you need once you're a middle-aged lady 😴
I remember when my Aunt Carol turned 90 and she commented it was so weird that life still kept changing it up on her.
She’d finally figured her 80s out and now, in this new decade, all of her friends were dying or had moved to be nearer to their kids so she was having to make new friends. And it sucked!
She was having to put herself out there again and she was surprised as I was that her life kept evolving enough that at 90 (!) she was having to grow and change AGAIN.
Her only answer was to shake her head and say, “Good Lord."
Well, today I turn 50 and, holy crap, is it a weird one.
On one hand, everything (life, kids, family, friends) is better than it’s ever been.
I have my mental health figured out for the first time, which means less tears, time in bed, and out-of-nowhere eruptions. We’re settled for the next few years, in a lovely house, on a lovely block, which feels foreign, but a relief.
On top of that, after what felt like the World’s Most Arduous Journey, I’ve finally figured out my work situation and am doing work that fills me up and uses my talents.
There’s so much good! My hard work is paying off! I’m intensely grateful and every day, literally, I count my blessings!
And, on the other hand, I’m having a bit of an Aunt Carol moment.
Because, how do I not have more figured out?!?!?! How am I still so ridiculously human?
For example, this past month I’ve:
had multiple conversations where the moment it was over wanted to issue an apology for the countless embarrassing things I’d said
sent an email I immediately wanted to unsend and then lost a whole day worrying about it
left my purse on top of my car and drove away
left my purse in my car and my car unlocked so said purse was stolen
left my purse on the chair at a coffee shop and remembered an hour later
lost multiple water bottles
forgot to get insurance for our new car so drove around for a month, blissfully playing with (accident) fire
talked so loudly my husband wondered if it was causing my sore throat
lost it because there were too many dishes in the sink, backpacks by the front door, shoes left all over the house
It’s all a little too real.
Because, part of me really thought by the time I was 50, I would be a different person - sleek, put together, un-messy.
I mean, with the amount of work I’ve done on myself, shouldn’t I be a little more Queen of England and less Housewives of New Jersey?
But, maybe, that’s just not me?
Maybe I’ll always be part hot mess, part Type A / straight A student?
Part mom who always remembers to get her kids on time, but can’t keep ahold of her purse.
Part friend who will give you 100% of her attention in real time, but can’t return a text in a timely fashion if her life depended on it.
Part wife who always remembers to ask about important meetings, but is consistently shocked by the daily occurrence of dinnertime.
Maybe part of getting older is accepting these contrasts?
Accepting there’s no Life Perfection Finish Line. Accepting that our flaws make us more palatable and empathetic. Accepting that if we engage with other people there’s a chance they might misunderstand us. Accepting that we can’t personal growth our way out of our humanness, as much as we’d like to.
And, most of all, accepting that life is messy and ever-changing and that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. Rather, it means you’ve chosen to show up and hop in rather than let it pass you by.
To which, all I can say is, “Omg, GOOD LORD."
One of the gifts of getting older is realizing how AMAZING sleep is. When I’m getting enough shut-eye, I’m a different, kinder person.
So, this last year, I really upped my sleep game and decided to spend the money on creating an excellent nighttime experience.
Here’s what I use EVERY SINGLE NIGHT:
😴 My husband used to be a snorer and these ear buds changed my life. FOR REAL. Because they’re made specifically for sleeping, they’re comfortable enough to wear all night and have a ton of different background noises to choose from. My favorite feature though is the built-in alarm that only sounds in the buds so you don’t wake anyone else up.
Pricey, but worth every penny!
🛌 We’ve always slept on mediocre pillows that start out like a dream and are basically a sad pancake by night three. I took a chance on these slightly more expensive pillows and almost a year later, they still have fluff! Total game changer for getting a full night’s shut eye.
⭐️ I wasn’t super into eye masks, but then I gave this version to my daughter for Christmas and she couldn’t stop talking about it. It’s silky, keeps out all the light, and isn’t too tight on your head.
👩🦰 I have long hair for the first time ever! And I kept reading about the importance of keeping it hydrated so decided to try an inexpensive version a hair bonnet (Amazon link or more expensive version that I haven’t tried). Now, I never sleep without it because it absolutely keeps my hair more moisturized, plus, it helps it keep its shape so it looks good in the morning.
💤 Omg, I love our duvet cover! It’s helped so much with my middle of the night overheating and it’s light and airy. We also bought our sheets from Brooklinen, and I...like them. They are a definite upgrade from the polyester Target ones we had, but I’m not sure they were worth all the money we spent. (I’ve been eyeing these Quince ones because their stuff is consistently great quality…)
💊 I have to give a quick shout out to progesterone because I was having such a terrible time sleeping through the night - waking up at 3am in total panic - when normally, literal fire alarms don’t wake me up (not so good for our lives but excellent for my mental health). Almost immediately after starting it, my sleep recovered 95%, which my family - I mean I - am VERY happy about.
I was on my dear friend Annie’s podcast a couple of weeks ago and it was such a blast! We talk about how to make friends as a mom, why it’s so hard, and practical tips to make it easier so you’ll ACTUALLY DO IT!
Annie’s so much fun to talk to - enthusiastic, optimistic, my kind of people - it’s a really fun listen.
All right, I’m off to party like it’s my 50th! Love you all and see you next week!
xx. Kara
PS: I recorded this a couple of months ago and, yep, it holds up: All my thoughts on turning the big 5-0!